Quit Hiring Agreeable People for Customer Service: How Personality Outweighs Niceness Every Time

I’ll share something that will probably upset every recruitment person who reads this: selecting people for customer service based on how “nice” they seem in an meeting is part of the largest mistakes you can commit.

Pleasant turns you nowhere when a customer is screaming at you about a issue that isn’t your doing, demanding fixes that don’t exist, and stating to damage your business on social media.

That which works in those situations is strength, professional limit-establishing, and the capacity to keep concentrated on results rather than feelings.

We discovered this lesson the challenging way while working with a large shopping business in Melbourne. Their hiring procedure was totally focused on selecting “service-minded” applicants who were “inherently pleasant” and “loved helping people.”

Seems sensible, yes?

Their result: sky-high employee departures, continuous time off, and customer experience that was constantly mediocre.

Once I examined what was occurring, I found that their “pleasant” employees were getting completely destroyed by difficult clients.

Such employees had been selected for their genuine compassion and wish to help others, but they had absolutely no tools or inherent barriers against internalizing every person’s bad feelings.

Worse, their genuine tendency to accommodate people meant they were repeatedly committing to expectations they couldn’t fulfill, which created even additional frustrated clients and additional stress for themselves.

The team saw really kind employees quit within weeks because they were unable to cope with the emotional toll of the role.

Meanwhile, the rare people who performed well in demanding client relations environments had completely distinct traits.

These people were not particularly “nice” in the typical sense. Rather, they were resilient, self-assured, and fine with establishing standards. They really desired to assist people, but they additionally had the strength to state “no” when required.

Those staff were able to recognize a customer’s anger without taking it as their fault. They managed to keep professional when clients got abusive. They were able to concentrate on discovering practical outcomes rather than becoming caught up in dramatic dynamics.

Such qualities had minimal to do with being “nice” and everything to do with mental strength, internal confidence, and toughness.

I completely changed their hiring approach. In place of searching for “nice” people, we commenced evaluating for toughness, problem-solving skills, and comfort with boundary-setting.

During assessments, we gave applicants with actual client relations situations: angry customers, unreasonable demands, and situations where there was zero complete fix.

In place of questioning how they would make the customer happy, we inquired how they would navigate the encounter effectively while protecting their own emotional stability and maintaining business guidelines.

This applicants who performed best in these assessments were rarely the ones who had initially come across as most “agreeable.”

Instead, they were the ones who exhibited systematic analysis under stress, ease with stating “no” when required, and the skill to separate their personal feelings from the client’s psychological state.

Six months after introducing this new selection approach, staff satisfaction decreased by over significantly. Customer satisfaction improved substantially, but additionally significantly, happiness particularly among difficult customer encounters increased remarkably.

This is why this strategy is effective: client relations is essentially about solution-finding under pressure, not about being constantly appreciated.

People who reach customer service are generally already annoyed. They have a problem they can’t resolve themselves, they’ve frequently already worked through several methods, and they require competent support, not shallow pleasantries.

What upset customers genuinely want is a person who:

Recognizes their problem quickly and accurately

Exhibits real ability in comprehending and handling their problem

Provides honest explanations about what can and is not possible to be done

Takes appropriate measures quickly and follows through on agreements

Maintains professional behavior even when the customer gets difficult

See that “being nice” doesn’t feature anywhere on that set of requirements.

Effectiveness, professionalism, and consistency matter significantly more than niceness.

In fact, overwhelming agreeableness can often backfire in support situations. When customers are genuinely upset about a significant issue, overly upbeat or energetic behavior can appear as inappropriate, artificial, or tone-deaf.

We worked with a financial institution company where client relations staff had been trained to continuously maintain “positive demeanor” regardless of the client’s circumstances.

This approach functioned reasonably well for standard requests, but it was totally wrong for significant issues.

When people reached out because they’d lost significant quantities of money due to system errors, or because they were confronting monetary hardship and needed to arrange repayment options, inappropriately positive behavior came across as callous and wrong.

We retrained their representatives to adapt their emotional tone to the gravity of the customer’s issue. Significant concerns required professional, professional responses, not artificial upbeat energy.

Client experience got better immediately, especially for complex situations. People experienced that their issues were being taken with proper attention and that the representatives serving them were professional service providers rather than just “pleasant” employees.

That brings me to a different crucial point: the distinction between empathy and interpersonal involvement.

Skilled support representatives require empathy – the capacity to understand and acknowledge another individual’s emotions and perspectives.

But they certainly do under no circumstances need to absorb those feelings as their own.

Interpersonal taking on is what takes place when support staff start feeling the same upset, stress, or hopelessness that their customers are going through.

Such psychological taking on is extremely exhausting and results to burnout, poor effectiveness, and problematic turnover.

Healthy empathy, on the other hand, permits people to acknowledge and attend to people’s interpersonal needs without making blame for solving the person’s mental state.

Such separation is vital for protecting both professional effectiveness and personal wellbeing.

Given this, what should you look for when hiring support staff?

Initially, emotional competence and strength. Screen for candidates who can stay stable under pressure, who won’t take customer upset as their fault, and who can differentiate their own feelings from someone else’s person’s emotional situations.

Additionally, analytical skills. Client relations is basically about understanding problems and creating effective resolutions. Screen for candidates who handle problems methodically and who can reason logically even when interacting with frustrated customers.

Third, ease with limit-establishing. Look for people who can state “no” professionally but clearly when necessary, and who appreciate the distinction between remaining helpful and being manipulated.

Fourth, real interest in solution-finding rather than just “accommodating people.” The best client relations staff are energized by the intellectual satisfaction of resolving difficult issues, not just by a desire to be liked.

Lastly, career confidence and personal dignity. Customer service people who respect themselves and their professional competence are significantly more effective at preserving healthy relationships with people and offering reliably excellent service.

Don’t forget: you’re not selecting candidates to be customer service buddies or personal comfort counselors. You’re recruiting competent professionals who can deliver excellent service while protecting their own mental health and enforcing reasonable expectations.

Select for skill, strength, and professionalism. Niceness is optional. Work excellence is mandatory.

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